There was buzz in all the corners of my wrestling world about this one. People preemptively calling it the best show of the year, many saying of all time, caught me off guard. Was it going to be really? Wrestle Kingdom was packed, not to mention the other great shows of the year's past.
But Fuck, was I wrong.
This was, as I texted to my brother at 7:30 in the morning, the best wrestling show I've ever seen. Top to bottom the show flowed great, and while not every match was a homerun, they didn't all have to be. Now, I'm going to be reporting every match finish cause that's just how I roll. But if you want to avoid the spoilers, there's a star rating sitting all alone at the end of each match report for a TL:DR recommendation. All the fluff outta the way, let's get started.
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships [3nd Defense]
El Desperado and Yoshinobu Kanemaru (Suzuki-Gun) (c) vs SHO and YOH (CHAOS)
There was no breaks in this match, and it was definitely better the second time watching it. At 92 days, Desperado and Kanemaru are the longest reigning Jr. Tag Champs in the past 2 years. That's crazy but it's also telling to how the Jr. Tag Titles are a proverbial hot potato. I thought that Roppongi 3K had this easily, their potential as individuals is huge but right now they could be very comfortable at the top of the tag team pile. I would have slated Desperado to challenge for the Junior Heavyweight title down the road, and he still might as one half of the tag champs. Whoops, let the ending slip, didn't I? After several attempts to cheat, Kanemaru planted SHO with his bottle of Suntory, before Despy pinned him with some variety of clutch pin. A good opener, but not phenomenal like I know it could be.
***
David Finlay and Juice Robinson vs. Jay White and YOSHI-HASHI (CHAOS)
I'm starting to like the team of Juice and Finlay more and more each time I watch them. I think, like SHO and YOH, it's a great way to get both men into good spots on the card and show what they can do. God bless YOSHI but he was the fourth wheel of a story Tricycle here. We had one of my favorite tag team stratagems we rarely see here, Jay White distracted the ref from seeing a tag by Finlay. Smart tag wrestling is always something I appreciate. Halfway through this match I realized that this card is missing all of the 3rd generation guys, Makabe, Coach Taguchi and Tiger Mask. Will this persist through the rest of the year? Or is this merely coincidence? Four Way broke out, and the match quickly ended after via a Pulp Friction on Jay White. Robinson most likely just solidified himself another shot at the US Title Jay holds. Nothing wrong with the match, but nothing particularly good besides the before mentioned spot.
**3/4
Tomohiro Ishii and Toru Yano (CHAOS) vs. Minoru Suzuki and Zack Sabre Jr. (Suzuki-Gun)
I've decided that Sabre and Suzuki should hold every set of Tag titles they can. I know I've said this about War Machine before, but I mean it this time. They're a fantastic team that would look great with four sets of gold around their waists (ROH, RPW, CMLL, and IWGP). Suzuki-Gun has seriously become my favorite faction in the world right now, all starting around the time Taichi went heavyweight and TAKA became the greatest hype man ever. I was fucking giddy for this match when I heard it was coming my way, and it didn't disappoint. In addition to gushing over Sabre and Suzuki, Ishii and Yano are one of my favorite tag teams for reasons I might go into more detail another day. This entire match was a showcase of what all four men are about, and was hilarious fun throughout. Suzuki and Ishii went at it, Sabre and Suzuki stretched some fools in tandem, and Zack once again proved to be great at innovating and reinvigorating an old style for modern audiences. Sabre tied up Yano in...something...and made him tap out. This wasn't a barnburner, or 30 minutes, but it was fucking excellence from start to finish. If you've never seen any of these men, you need to see this match and you'll get who they all are pretty quick.
***1/2
NEVER Openweight Championship [4th Defense]
Hirooki Goto (CHAOS) (c) vs. Michael Elgin vs. Taichi (Suzuki-Gun)
In 2015, the WWE promoted what was, at the time, possibly the greatest triple threat match in the history of pro wrestling. Brock Lesnar, John Cena, and Seth Rollins went for a little under 23 minutes to tell a fucking great story of The Good, The Ugly, and the fucking insane MMA fighter who can snap the neck of a Grizzly Bear with his bare hands. I won't out and out say this was better, or on par, with that match, but it gives me pause and the want to go back and watch that match again to find out for myself. A really fun war between three men who I think all finally know who they are. The main conflict in the match was certainly between Elgin and Goto, but Taichi tried as best he could to put himself in the mix when opportunity presented itself. If there's ever been a story of someone hitting a switch and somehow finally finding "it", it'd be Tetsuya Naito. But Taichi recently is climbing the ranks in that category. Something happened along his change of weight classes that got him in the right mindset to be not only good, but consistently entertaining. During the whole match, he tried every underhanded trick he had to try and win gold, including throwing a hot woman at the ref but to no avail. Michael Elgin walked out of this match with the NEVER Openweight title, pinning Taichi after Buckle Bombing him into Goto followed by a Sitout Powerbomb. People may not have liked the Triple Threat aspect of the match, and I admit a singles match between Elgin and Goto may have technically been better. But this wasn't bad in any way, any who watch this with an open mind will find an enjoyable break from the norm of the NEVER Openweight Division.
****1/4
IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship [3rd Defense]
EVIL and SANADA (Log Ingobernables de Japon) vs. Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson (Bullet Club)
I used to think that the Junior Heavyweight Tag Division was better than the Heavyweight Division. I now think that it's less that, and more that the Junior Division had the Young Bucks and the Heavyweight didn't. I don't think it's coincidence that the best match of any given team's repertoire includes the Bucks somehow, and this was certainly EVIL and SANADA's best match in their history as a tag team. It's not that Matt and Nick have a style or set match that other teams have to work around, more so that their style and their match can click or mesh with any other team easily. This was a wonderful match with several moments live where I was sure that the champions had the retention in the books. But, despite a persistently hurting back, and a freshly dented foot, The Young Bucks managed to beat EVIL and SANADA with More Bang For your Buck, which I appreciated more than if they had done it with, say, the Meltzer Driver. If this is a sign that the two are going back to that as their finishing combination I'm alright with it. Incumbent champions certainly weren't slouches in this match either, and I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of the pair in the lineage of the Tag Titles.
****1/4
Jushin Thunder Liger, Rey Myterio Jr., and Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Cody, Hangman Page, and Marty Scurll (Bullet Club)
You need to take a piss? Maybe light a cigarette up? Check your Twitter to see if Kevin Kelly's mentioned you yet, signifying that you've made it to the upper echelon of reviewer notoriety? You found your match to do it, cause there ain't no breaks on this train. This match had a lot going against it; sandwiched between two strings of excellent matches, on an awkward spot on the card, and has the much hyped debut of a legend in it. Despite the fans being very into all of the action they were given, that action didn't tally up to being any more than standard multi-man fare for a New Japan show. Rey moves a lot better than I thought he would, but that may amount to this having been a multi-man instead of a singles match. Long story incredibly short Cody pinned Liger after a Crossrhodes, but then Rey and Tanahashi cleared the ring almost immediately. Not offensive, but watching live I guess my brain had to cut corners.
**3/4
WIll Ospreay (CHAOS) (c) vs. Hiromu Takahashi (Los Ingobernables de Japon)
Walking in I was so worried that these two were gonna die fighting over who the best Junior Heavyweight in the world is. Looking back, neither of them were too insane with their offense and neither took too ridiculous of punishment. An upstep from their match earlier this year, and similar to the opening contest this night, there were almost no breaks in the 20 minutes of the contest. Ospreay took more liberties with the challenger here thanever before, showing influence form Okada with an air of confidence and control during the whole match, Hiromu had a larger mountain to climb here than a few months ago, but I'll be damned if he didn't step up to the plate. More than once Hiromu went for the Triangle Choke and the crowd was really hyped for it each time. I think I was in the crowd for the first time Hiromu used the Triangle Choke and I knew right away it was going to be great one day. Match ended after a spectacular piledriver from the challenger and a Timebomb soon after to crown him the new champion. And I couldn't be happier than Takahashi was to have his belt back.
****1/2
Tetsuya Naito (Los Ingobernables de Japon) (c) vs. Chris Jericho
The expression "this wasn't a match, it was a fight" comes around a few times a year. A lot of Ishii's matches and the NEVER matches get classified as fights, but even then I'd hesitate. Ishii is still in a mindset for business and the pay window at the end of the day, Shibata was in there to end the match as quick and precisely as possible despite how hard he did it. Neither man particularly chooses to be brutal and violent for the sake of the brutality and violence, they do it because that's the style they choose to implement. This match was a fight, not in what each man did, but because of how and why they chose to do it. Everything that Naito did was in response to violence from Jericho, who started the match off hot with a brutal beating. Naito had his defining techniques sprinkled through the match, but he stuck mostly to beating the revenge out of Jericho with his fists. The Walls of Jericho was featured heavily in the match, Naito having to survive it at least four separate times, but the match itself ended with a pair of Codebreakers to make Chris a ten time Intercontinental Champion. This was an amazing surprise, being a diehard Jericho fan, and I'm interested to see how long he holds the belt.
****1/2
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2 Out of 3 Falls, No Time Limit
Kazuchika Okada (CHAOS) (c) vs Kenny Omega (Bullet Club)
I'm trying to think of what I can even say about this match. I've spent two days trying to form the words I want to be on record for the rest of time, if my words are ever looked back on in that kind of context. I'm a humble man, I don't expect my words to be remembered for years to come. But the only word that comes to mind about this encounter was 'perfect'. The build took almost two years, setting up the hottest active 'Never Been' in New Japan or maybe in All of Japan, against the greatest champion in All of Japan, in front of three of the greatest matches in New Japan history. One knew they were watching something amazingly special when they watched these two on this night. If you've seen it you've seen it, if you haven't that's a shame. It's a lot like Joe Doering and Go Shiozaki from the All Japan New Year's show in 2015, that I don't want to give away the ending or the spots. Just...just go watch the match, everyone.
*****+
I think, to close, I'll simply quote Bryan Alvarez (who I quoted on Facebook and instantly saw copypasta'd by other people to other pages, but I'll let it go cause I have no heart for ugly anymore) to sum up how I feel after Okada's reign ended, and the night in all.
In Professional Wrestling, everybody knows it's fake. But there's certain things that you can do that, even though it's fake, they're real.[...]The Okada title reign, obviously he was booked to win every match. However, how many people especially today, are looking back going 'that was the greatest title reign I have ever seen in professional wrestling'?[...]My point of this is: at least to me, this is the greatest title reign I've ever seen, and Okada's the greatest wrestler I've ever seen. And regardless of whether Professional Wrestling is real or fake, those two things are real to me.
Thanks for reading! I'm glad that I can turn my passion for wrestling into something that so many people enjoy. If you want to get regular updates on when I release more reviews, you can follow me at Twitter at @LSWayne21. And if you're still looking for your fix on wrestling, check out Enuffa.com, where I got my start in reviewing and still contribute from time to time.
All of the New Japan I watch can be found on New Japan World.See you down the Road.
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